The news of the tragic deaths at Virginia Tech University and the University of Northern Illinois has shocked and saddened us all. Such disastrous events, even at a distance, can leave us with feelings of vulnerability and stress. Many of us, at some point in our lives, will experience a sudden, overwhelming event. It may occur to us or to someone we know or care about, or it might be something we witness. An individual's response to encountering a traumatic event can vary widely. Additionally, these responses can vary from day to day or minute to minute. Understanding normal reactions to traumatic events can help you cope with feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. The following are some common and normal reactions to traumatic events:
- Denial, shock, numbness
- Feeling vulnerable, unsafe
- Anxiety, panic, worry
- Irritability, anger, moodiness
- Being hyper-alert or vigilant
- Disturbing images
- Headaches, fatigue, sleep disturbances
- Helplessness, hopelessness
- Sadness, crying, despair
- Difficulty concentrating
- Withdrawal, isolation
- Remembering other life traumas
- Confusion, forgetfulness, or memory impairment
- Use of alcohol or other substances to cope with disturbing feelings
- It is also not unusual to have no reaction at all.
Taking Care of Self
There are a number of useful strategies for coping with your reactions to trauma.
- First, recognize that you have been exposed to a very stressful event and that it is bound to have an impact in some way. There is no right or wrong way to think or feel about the event.
- Accept your feelings and reactions, as well as those of others.
- Talking to others about your feelings can be very helpful. Talk to sympathetic family or friends about your experience and feelings. Seeking support and community is important.
- Notice if there are any dramatic changes in your diet, exercise, and substance use. These might be indicative of a stress reaction and a need to re-evaluate how you are taking care (or not) of yourself.
- Spend time with friends or family. Note that being alone is important at times too, but if you find yourself spending more time alone than usual, you might be experiencing a withdrawal from others as a response to the stressful event.
- Don't make any big life decisions or changes during this time as you may not be acting in your usual manner.
- Limit your amount of exposure to media reports of the stressful event, especially if you are having a difficult time coping with such exposure.
Helping Others
The emotional toll of a crisis is unique to each individual, as is the need to discuss the issues that may surface. There are a number of ways you can help others restore emotional well being and a sense of control following a traumatic experience, including the following:
- Listen. Simply acknowledging feelings is important. Allow room for people to have their feelings, even as you try to reassure them.
- Allow for the expression of emotions. Provide a safe and quiet environment to discuss feelings and thoughts.
- Encourage others to give themselves time to heal, to mourn the losses and to be patient with changes in their emotional state.
- Help others communicate their experience in ways that feel comfortable to them - such as by talking with family or close friends, or keeping a diary.
- Be accepting of your own feelings and reactions, as well as those of others.
- Follow-up. Arrange to meet or call the person again. This demonstrates concern and understanding for their emotional pain.
- To be helpful to others, you need to take care of yourself. Make time for yourself and try to maintain a balance between being supportive to others and yourself.
Remember healing from a loss takes time and can not be "fixed with a quick remedy." Sometimes your intervention will not be able to make someone feel better right away. Be prepared for this and don't take it as a comment on your helping skills.
When to Consider Counseling
- If you have friends or family members in the areas of the tragedies.
- If you have intrusive memories of previous loss, trauma, or crisis that you have faced.
- If you are experiencing heightened feelings of anxiety, fear for your safety, or rage.
- If you are crying more than usual in response to sadness.
Resources at TCU
Counseling Center (817) 257-7863
Campus Life (817) 257-7926
University Ministries (817) 257-7830