THE Stress-Resistant Personality

Hardiness research suggests that seeking a minimally stressful environment is only one way to control stress.

Another is to change one’s attitudes and characteristic manner of approaching stressful events. The study of stress-resistant personalities gives some valuable clues as to what changes may work best for you.

What characterizes stress-resistant people?

1. A clear sense of one’s values, goals, and capabilities, and a belief in their importance.

2. Active involvement rather than passive acquiescence. Hardy persons actively restructure and initiate desired changes in their personal worlds.

3. The ability to find personal meaning in stressful life events and to fit these events into one’s overall plans and priorities.

4. An internal locus of control. This is the feeling of being in control of stressful life events rather than viewing them as a function of fate, luck, or the actions of powerful others.

5. A good social support system, including close ties to friends and family.

6. High sensation seeking. This characteristic may have a sizeable genetic component and may be difficult to change.

7. A stable, even disposition.

8. A “Type B” personality: easygoing manner, low hostility, low competitiveness, and little feeling of time pressure.

How can one begin to develop some of these characteristics?

1. > Take the time to clearly establish some priorities and goals. Carefully consider the limitations on your time and energy.

2. > Try being proactive. Don’t wait for someone else to suggest making some changes, go ahead and present a plan of your own that will stimulate discussion and a real effort to make some changes.

3. > Ask yourself why you are doing whatever it is that you find stressful. How do these actions contribute to your priorities and goals? If they do, keep that in mind and use it as motivation. If they don’t, then it’s probably time to make some changes.

> Remember that almost everything you do is based upon your own decisions. You may be making your decisions after careful consideration of all options and contributing factors, or you may be making your decisions based more upon convenience and the expectations of others (remember, whether you decide not to decide, or decide to let others decide, you are still making a decisions). In the first case, you will find a much greataer sense of control over your own life. In the latter case you will feel much more like your life is out of control and at the mercy of others.

5. > Make plans to spend time with those people you most love and enjoy. Share your feelings and thoughts with each other, encourage each other, find ways to help each other, and take advantage of every opportunity for joy and humor.

6. > Sit back and look at your life for a little while. Are you the kind of person who enjoys being in the thick of things? Or are you the kind of person that prefers an easier pace? If you like lots of action, then just be careful that you don’t get spread out too thin. If you don’t, then realize that your specialty is probably focusing on only one or two things at a time and being very thorough and precise.

7. > Be aware of your emotional state. Ask yourself if you are responding realistically to a situation, is your reaction going to make any difference? Can you use this emotion as energy for change? Ask yourself if you are using your emotional state to manipulate others or as a cry for help. If you seem to have persistent difficulty managing your emotions and moods, if you are down and can’t shake it, or angry and can’t let go of it, consider seeing a psychotherapist or doctor, these may be signs of a more serious problem.

Try to remember a few bits of wisdom:

Very few things are simply right or wrong, good or bad

If you believe things are at extremes, then you will behave at extremes.

Moderation in all things--including being moderate!

Most people are trying to do the best they can, just like you.

Everybody makes mistakes, just like you.

Everybody breaks their own rules sometimes, just like you.

Life is not a contest, but it does have three rules--Love, Learn, and Laugh.

A hunnerd years from now it ain’t gonna make no differns noways!

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